


Bag End Bakery: Here Goes Muffin

by tari_roo



Series: Bag End Bakery [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bakery, Baked Goods, Bakery, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Baking As Therapy, Coffee Addiction, College, Dwarf baking weaponised, GBBO Inspired, Gen, Gratuitious Food References, Hangry, Hangry!customers, Muffins, Not to be read when on a diet, a cup of tea solves all problems, of course Elves are French, student life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-16 05:32:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11822229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tari_roo/pseuds/tari_roo
Summary: After a successful party, Kili and Fili embark on a brilliant plan to earn money by selling baked goods. All they need to do is convince Mr Baggins to help them. Can't be too hard, right? Selling baked goods to starved students will be a breeze. The Bakery AU continues (Second story in the series)





	1. Good Idea. Bad Idea

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 of the series is up. Once again this is inspired by watching WAY too much MasterChef and Great British Bake Off. I ate a great many muffins and drank a lot of tea while writing and researching this fic. You are welcome. 
> 
> This story is complete and will be posted over the next few days.
> 
> Comments, recipes, kudos and cookies always appreciated.

Part 1

"Argh! What are you doing? Enough, stop, stop!"

A little startled, Kili looked up from the puff pastry with which he was fighting, his face glistening with sweat. He blinked and shook his head, trying to shake his damp hair from his face and inadvertently sprayed the dough with said sweat. Eyes widening in horror, Kili hoped Mister Baggins hadn't noticed the inclusion of sweat to the pastry and turned his full attention on the irate gentlehobbit, all as his pastry slowly oozed butter onto the warm counter.

Across the room, Fili stopped mid-stir, his bowl of choux pastry emitting a large plume of steam as he did so.

"Mister Fili, you don't add yeast to choux pastry! It does not need… Did you even read the recipe… and Kili, you are working puff pastry in direct sunlight near the oven, are you in … no, just no!"

Mister Baggins looked as red in the face as Kili felt, and he tried not to smile at how flustered the poor fellow looked. It was a wonder that he was not clutching his head in dismay, or thrashing them severely with a branch. For someone who protested as much as he did that he was not a baker, Bilbo Baggins certainly took baking seriously, very seriously.

"Please, please, my good dwarves, we wasted more than enough ingredients yesterday trying to make toffee apples, and I... I…" Bilbo clutched at his heart, like the very memory of their disastrous efforts yesterday pained him. Kili shot his brother a worried look. Was this it? Was Baggins kicking them out after only one day of their baking efforts and messing up his kitchen? The sad thing was, their somewhat deformed toffee apples had still gone down a treat on campus, and they'd sold out in under an hour. As ill-conceived as trying to make caramel had been, it had nonetheless proved successful.

Their plan today had been to make croissants and churros, even though neither of them had the slightest idea on how to make either pastry. Fili had found a recipe for each and upon review of the technique required, both had agreed that folding and mixing dough had seemed easy enough. They could both fry an egg, ergo they could fry churros. Croissants seemed simple enough to make, it simply took folding pastry over and over again. As Dwalin frequently bellowed at them during sword drills and in the forge, "He who dares, wins!" so, they had dared to brave the mysteries of pastry. Clearly, Bilbo Baggins held more with Balin's adage of "Only fools temper steel in the mud."

Fili wiped his brow, shooting the timepiece on the wall a glance as he said, "Mister Baggins, we'd appreciate any help you'd care of offer."

Bilbo shook his head, fiercely, but nonetheless said firmly, "Muffins, Master Dwarf. Muffins are the answer! You will make muffins!"

Frowning, Fili asked, "Aren't they awfully dry, Mister Baggins? I can't say I've ever had a good muffin before." In fact, Fili recalled choking down a dry bran muffin in desperation once, when the cafeteria had nothing better on offer.

A strange light glistened in Bilbo's eyes and Kili swore he stood a little taller as he said, "Then you have not truly lived, young Fili. Muffins are a staple breakfast food in this borough and for your purposes ideal to sell to hungry students. Better yet, they are simple to make and take limited preparation time."

Conscious of the time and his approaching _Micro-Economics in Post-War Lindon_ lecture, Fili sighed and said, "Thank you, Mister Baggins. We'd appreciate the help."

Kili shot his oozing pile of melting pastry a regretful look, mostly as he really enjoyed a good croissant, but agreed that time was indeed of the essence. Early morning lectures would be starting soon, and they wanted to catch all the hungry, cafeteria-avoiding students. If he could not offer them croissants, muffins would definitely suffice.

"Do we have the right ingredients, Mister Baggins?" Fili started to say but Bilbo cut him off with a wave. "We may need more milk, and a few other things, so here's what I want you to do."

Fili was dispatched post haste to the sunrise market several streets over with the most precisely vague instructions of his life.

_Go to Daisy and Hyacinth's stall and buy whatever berries they have available, but if the blackberries are too tart, go Ms Maragret circumspectly and buy almonds, pecans and raisins. If Jasper is in town, be sure to buy his best cacao and cinnamon. Don't let Vernin persuade you that ginger supersedes poppy seed, and do not under any circumstances buy Mistress Bracegirdle's Royal Stilton. Her mature cheddar only._

If his brother had left with a slightly dazed and bemused expression, Kili was nonetheless pleased that he did not have to brave the bustle of the market, nor try to remember all of the injunctions Bilbo had ordered. Fortunately, Fili had a knack for memory and would probably return with most, if not all of the ingredients.

By the time Fili returned with Hamfast Gamgee in tow, both struggling under the weight of his purchases, Kili and Bilbo had whipped up a near dozen standard, plain muffin batters in eleven separate mixing bowls. Both ovens were primed and ready to bake and Kili was working on the twelfth batter mix, while Bilbo greased a dozen muffin pans.

Abandoning his pans, Bilbo hurried over to help Fili with his load. "Well done lad, what did you find? Master Gamgee, thank you for your assistance."

Hamfast doffed his hat and mumbled, "I saw the young gentledwarf trying to fend off both Miss Violet and Miss Frieda Proudfoot without dropping his blueberries, Mister Baggins. Most persistent those two young hobbits. I feared for his safety."

Fili coloured pink around his impressive moustache and Kili grinned.

Bilbo however sighed and nodded, "Thanks indeed, Master Gamgee." He peered into the two large baskets Fili had brought and a broad, delighted smile broke over his face. "Oh, how wonderful. Fresh blueberries and cherries and I see Jasper was available."

Fili, recovering from his blush, nodded. "He also had ready-made chocolate which I purchased." There was a note of wariness in Fili's voice, uncertain if this would be received well by the very particular Bilbo. He had made the purchase fully prepared to eat the chocolate if Bilbo did not want it, which would not be a hardship.

Fortunately, Mister Baggins beamed, "Wonderful and there is enough to do two batches of chocolate muffins if you wish." He smiled up at Fili, clearly very pleased at the prospect.

Fili however still appeared unconvinced about the muffins as if his foray to the market had worn his already low enthusiasm for muffins even lower. "Mister Baggins, are you sure about this. First lectures start in an hour and this looks like a lot of muffins."

Popping a handful of blueberries into his mouth, Bilbo waved a part comforting, part dismissive hand at Fili. Once he was able to speak, he laughed, "No need to worry, Master Fili. Muffins are always a good choice. Is that not so, Master Gamgee?"

Hamfast looked up from where he was cautiously inspecting a bowl of batter and nodded, "Oh, aye, Mister Baggins. I'd walk a mile for a good cheese muffin. Iffen you're making cheese muffins with that Bracegirdle cheddar, I'd buy a dozen right now."  
Bilbo opened his arms expansively as if Hamfast's testimony was proof enough.

"Come now, enough lolly gadding. Let's get these muffins going." Bilbo clapped his hands together and Kili beamed at his brother. Curious and perhaps hopeful for a free sample or three, Hamfast stayed to help. Fili sighed and assented.

Bilbo was right. Most of the work was done already and they started on the simpler varieties first, washing the berries and chopping raisins and nuts. Hamfast grated cheese and then trotted into the allotment to pick some chillies from the bushes he looked after. Kili carefully chopped the prepared chocolate while Bilbo crushed the cacao. Fili peeled pears and oranges, and then placed the pear slices in the oven to soften and sweeten them. He then zested the oranges and lemons creating several mini piles of rich aromatic pieces which filled the kitchen with their fresh scent.

The first six trays (a dozen muffins in each tray) went into the ovens within twenty minutes. Kili took a moment to stare through the oven doors, curious how they were going to turn out. Bilbo had combined the ingredients with flair and ease, while Kili had watched. In the largest oven were three varieties of muffins:  
orange, lemon and poppy seed;  
mixed berry;  
and cranberry and orange.  
The smaller oven had another three varieties of muffins:  
raspberry, raisin and pecan;  
blueberry and almond;  
and cinnamon nut.

By the time Bilbo was contemplating pulling the first tray out, they had the last six trays ready with the next six varieties:  
cheese and chives;  
cheese and chilli;  
pear and orange;  
strawberry and chocolate;  
chocolate chip;  
and double chocolate.

The kitchen was filled with a heavenly smell of baking, citrus, fresh chocolate and cinnamon. Kili's mouth watered as Bilbo extracted the cinnamon nut muffins, and pierced them gently with a thin metal skewer. When the skewer came away clean, he triumphantly declared them ready.

The muffins containing the fruit he left in the oven a little longer, but eventually the orange, lemon and poppy seed, cranberry and orange and raspberry, raisin and pecan nut muffins came out with a flourish. Hamfast hovered close by like an eager child, his eyes wide as he smelled the orange, lemon and poppy seed. "Oh, Mister Bilbo, those smell a treat!" Kili had to agree, his stomach rumbling with anticipation.

Once all trays were out, the last six trays were popped into the oven, and Bilbo with some ceremony showed Kili and Fili how to extract the hot muffins from their tins without breaking them, his swift twist of a blunt butter knife popping the delectable things gently onto a cooling rack. They set to the task willingly, conscious of the time.  
While the muffins were still warm, Bilbo sliced one into four even pieces and offered the amateur bakers a taste of their efforts. It was a cinnamon nut muffin, the nut being both pecan and almond and Kili took a bite of his portion without hesitation. Its texture was cake-like, light, warm and delicious, and the mix of nut and cinnamon rolled over his palate more pleasingly and Kili heard himself groan in appreciation. "Oh, that's good."  
Hamfast had a similar expression of wonder on his face, happily chewing on his entire portion. Kili popped the rest into his mouth and closed his eyes, savouring each morsel. What had his life been like before muffins? Empty, so empty.

Bilbo was humming to himself as he ate too and had pulled a jar of sugar close. "Could do with a sprinkle of sugar and cacao powder I think. Needs a little something, something." He sprinkled some sugar over the tops of the muffins, humming a little as he did.

Fili, however, was staring at the half-eaten piece of muffin in his hand like it was a mystery and a wonder. Kili, certain his brother was lost in thought, reached over to steal the remaining morsel, and Fili growled at him and shoved the rest into his mouth. "Good, huh? Kili smiled, mildly chiding his brother's earlier doubts. Fili nodded, moustache bouncing and poor Hamfast was eyeing out the other muffins in a most fixated manner.

"Beggen' your pardon, Mister Baggins, but shouldn't we test all of 'em, for quality purposes and such?" Hamfast's expression was earnest and sincere, without a trace a guile and Bilbo laughed. "I suppose we should, Master Gamgee. If the Masters Durin do not object."  
Mouth still full, Fili shook his head and Kili cried, "No objection!"

Still laughing, Bilbo shrugged his shoulders and said, "Alright, you remove them from the tins and select one of each to test. But mind you wash your hands first. I'll put the kettle on."

It was one of the hardest things Kili had ever done – gently removing delicious muffins without shoving each one into his mouth the instant it fell onto the cooling rack. Idly he wondered why Bilbo was boiling water, but his mind was focused on the task at hand, determined to extract perfect muffins without devouring them on the spot. He contemplated 'accidentally' damaging a few in the extraction process, as they couldn't sell damaged goods, but he resisted the temptation. Fili would not be impressed, although judging by the diligence at which his brother was applying himself to 'muffin extraction', he was having the same thoughts. Kili grinned.

The room was filling with early morning sunshine, turning the trees and plants outside into golden-brushed green beauties. Bilbo opened the window to let in a cool breeze to help the muffins cool, and the fresh morning air was rife with the aroma of roses, wildflowers and leafy trees and lifted the already heady scents of warm muffin and spices to heady heights in the kitchen. It probably tormented the occasional passerby who had the misfortune to smell baked goods with no chance of partaking.

Once five 'quality control' muffins had been placed on a plate, Bilbo offered each of them a mug of strong, sweet tea and they tucked in the muffins. Each one seemed to surpass the last. The mixed berry was sweet and tart, while the orange, lemon and poppy offered its own unique sweet and tart combination. The blueberry and almond were exquisite, and Kili nearly didn't try the raspberry and raisin one for fear of losing the prior sweet flavours. He did though and happily munched the orange and cranberry in quick succession. Hamfast sat back in his chair with a happy smile, sipping the end of his tea. "Oh, Mister Baggins, those were fine indeed. Fine, fine. Could do with half a dozen more, I tell ya."

Bilbo nodded, wiping crumbs off his face. "I agree, Master Gamgee, I agree. Nothing like a good muffin to break fast." Fili had been strangely quiet throughout, even though he'd devoured his allotted pieces with gusto. It was unusual for him to sulk, especially over a thing as silly has being proved wrong on the delights of baked goods. Kili raised an eyebrow at him, and Fili shrugged, slowly savouring his last piece, lost in thought.

They'd have the hurry with the last trays to make the first bell, so it was best if they got the remaining muffins ready for sale quickly, so Kili stood and cleared his throat. "Mister Baggins, thank you so much. These are wonderful. The students are going to go wild. I brought several large baskets…"

"Café!"

Kili stared at his brother who was staring them all in return and particularly at the muffins. "Café! Kill, don't you see – Café!"

Confused, Kili held up his mug and said, "It's tea, brother of mine. Not café. What are you..."

Fili stood, his eyes wide and face flushed, "Yes, yes, that's it. Don't you see? The muffins went great with tea! They'll go even better with café!"  
Fili grasped Bilbo's hand and cried, "Mister Baggins, you were so, so right. Muffins aren't dry and boring. They are perfect, but you want a cup of something warm and sweet to go with them!"

Slowly Bilbo nodded. "True enough."

Hamfast eyed Fili like one would a strange weed or odd looking beetle found on a rose bush, but he rumbled his agreement, "Aye, Master Dwarf. A good cuppa tea goes down a treat with muffins and toast. Even with a good scone or three."

Delighted, Fili nodded, and said more to Kili than anyone else, "Exactly! And what do students love more than tea?"

"Café," Kili replied, the tail end of Fili's idea dawning on him.

"And what have Bombur and Bifur been working on for months?"

The proverbial sun rose in Kili's mind and he snapped his fingers. "A portable, compact café dispenser! With that foaming function, that Ori is obsessed with."

"Exactly!" Fili beamed. "Why sell only one part of the meal. We could sell them both the muffin and the café!"

Kili joined his brother on his feet, his mind racing. "We'd need cups or mugs. Something disposable. Thick coats to protect us from the heat."

Hamfast cleared his throat, "Fred Bolger sells cups made from stiff, thick paper – for big parties and picnics. They might be a bit hot to hold, but…"

Both dwarves turned to Bilbo, their faces alight. "Mister Baggins, please, could you…"

Smiling, Bilbo gestured kindly and said, "Hurry. Hamfast and I will get the muffins ready to go."

Kili just about tripped over his feet as he raced out of the door, hot on his brother's heels. This was going to be incredible!

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

TBC – next chapter to be posted shortly. This work is complete and is not a WIP.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Muffins galore!

Part 2

They nearly missed the early crowds of hungry students.

Fili had argued almost constantly over what their profit versus a reasonable price would be, especially if they intended to do this again, and that they couldn't increase their prices dramatically if they found the cost was more than expected. In the end, they only settled on a price per muffin and cup of café as they breathlessly arrived on campus.

Luckily, Mister Baggins's Bag End was fairly close to campus so once they collected the muffins it was a short run with heavy, bulk burdens. They set up shop near the grand Beren and Luthien fountain in the Doriath courtyard. The courtyard was surrounded by the four main lecture halls and the Artificers Workshop but was dominated by the massive Gondolin Library at the north end of the courtyard which towered over all the buildings.

Kili sprung their display table up, the various gears and cogs clicking into place with a whirl and he rapidly laid out a dozen trays of muffins. He hoped Fili didn't notice that there were less than eleven muffins in some trays. He wiped his mouth in what he hoped was a casual fashion.  
Fili fussed with their portable café machine, pouring milk and café grounds into the various relevant pots, before triggering the compact steam engine. After he had stacked the Bolger cups, Kili wrote up a price board and placed it prominently in front of their stall.

It stated clearly:

_1 Muffin – ½ silver_

_1 cup café – ½ silver_

The morning sun was bright and the breakfast bells from the dormitories were ringing loudly, but since the main cafeteria supplied the dormitories, most boarders skipped breakfast. Kili and Fili lived off campus in a small apartment not far from the building their clan was renting so they generally avoided the cafeteria too. Fili hissed as the hot copper of the cylinders burned him but he gave Kili a cup of café and barked, "Taste."

They hadn't had time to test out Bombur's device and had rented it from him for 5 silvers for the morning. Hopefully, between their expenses on the ingredients and the rental, they'd make a decent profit. Kili sipped the hot café and smiled, "It's good. We'd didn't think about spoons though." Fili scowled and nodded but was distracted by their first potential customer. The spoon crisis was forgotten.

A tall, willowy elf paused as she strode past, her eyes and nose drawn to the happy aroma of café and muffins. Thick, dark hair fell down her back and over a satchel piled with books. "Are those chocolate muffins?" she asked, with an air suspicion.

Kili grinned and nodded, "They most certainly are, and for just one silver, you can take your pick of double chocolate or chocolate chip with a cup of café."

She bit her lip, clearly torn. Her indecision lasted but a moment and she caved quickly and nodded, "One of the chocolate ones – not the chocolate chip and a sweet café au lait, please."  
Fortunately, Bilbo had thrust a massive pile of serviettes at them as they ran out so Kili handed her a still warm double chocolate muffin. Fili filled her cup with the milk café and she took a bite of the muffin while she waited. "Oh, that's good." She smiled a happy chocolate smeared smile.

Without hesitation, she handed over a two piece silver. "I'll take a blueberry as well."  
When Kili tried to give her her change for the 2 piece, she waved him off and replied, "No keep it. These are definitely worth it." As she walked away, scoffing her chocolate muffin, Fili hissed, "See I told you we could have gone higher."

"Oh, be quiet," Kili whispered, as two more potential customers approached. As predicted, most of the students wanted a café noir or café au lait with their muffin. The heady aroma of freshly brewed café and spices from the muffins was all the advertising they needed. What they did not expect was that most customers wanted two or three muffins, not just the one. Only the slimmest elf might live off a single muffin for breakfast. Most students though existed in a state fuelled by sugar and café in various forms. Fili and Kili were in a prime position to fill that need. Initially, their flow of customers was slow but steady and their produce flew off the shelf, so to speak.

Disaster struck just as the stream of students increased into the courtyard as the start of lectures drew near. Bilbo would not have been surprised that said disaster was heralded by Gandalf.

Professor Gandalf strode past their stall at full steam in his trademark grey pinstripe suit, his pipe clenched in his mouth, and a battered briefcase tucked under his arm. He passed them at a notable pace, paused mid-step, did an about face and closed the distance to their little stall at a remarkable speed.

"Masters Kili and Fili, are those Bilbo Baggins's muffins?" He loomed over them, his smile bright and fierce.

Undaunted Kili nodded as he served a customer, handing the hobbit a cheese muffin. "Yes, sir. Freshly baked this morning."

"I'll take six." Kili beamed. Fili grinned.

Alas, Fili made the fatal error of offering him a café. Professor Grey stared at their contraption, his eyes gimlets of interest.

"Internal steam engine?"

"Yes, sir."

"Feanor gear system?"

"Fundin, sir."

"Of course. I'll take a café noir and café au lait. I trust you have a bag for my muffins. Does that contraption do espresso?"

It did not and they did not have a bag for the half dozen muffins. Fortunately, Kili was quick on his feet and co-opted the package the cups came in for the Professor's order. They both goggled at the ten silvers Gandalf paid and he refused all of their protests to the contrary. "I understand the value of these muffins, sirs." And with that he was gone, hurrying towards Valar Lecture Hall and his lecture on _Diplomacy under Fire: Frying Pan's make wonderful weapons._ It was a student favourite and had been advertised on notice boards and via messenger bird for weeks.

It took a long, slow moment for the disaster to unfold and for one blissful minute, Kili and Fili thought they had everything under control. The line was fairly short, muffins were being purchased, and people didn't mind waiting for a second or two for their cup of café. It was all going simply splendidly.

Naturally, it was then that the veritable horde of starving students descended upon them. Some were running for lecture halls. Others were lingering for the start of Gandalf's lecture. A handful had heard about the muffins and were curious. Kili approximated that they had roughly eighty muffins left when the crowd swarmed them.

"Are these Baggins Muffins?"

"The ones Professor Grey waxes lyrical about?"

"How much?"

"I'll take two!"

"Three here!"

"I'll pay double for a chilli cheese!"

"Do you do espresso or cappuccino?"

"Hey, no shoving. The line starts there!"

Initially, they coped. Fili was a veritable whirlwind on the café machine, churning out café after café, heedless of the scorching heat of the copper, and Kili tried to time the muffins to the drink orders and not get anything confused, and make sure everyone paid and got change.

"Tea by any chance?"

"Stars and stones that's good! One more, please."

"Do you have fructose, I don't like sugar?"

"Are these muffins free trade?"

"I'll pay double for the last chocolate one!"

"Hey, no, that's mine!"

Literally surrounded on all sides, Kili watched the muffins fly off the shelf in dismay. He tried to keep an eye on the students behind him, fearful a light fingered miscreant would help themselves in the melee. Each eager customer ordered a minimum of two muffins, many happy to pay for three or four at double the rate. All of which meant that their stock would not outlast the demand. And the crowd very quickly noticed that too.

"That's not far! He's taking four and there won't be any left for me!"

"Yeah!"

"Give me six, please. Here's a ten."

"What about us?"

"No fair. Muffins for all!"

The back of the crowd was getting antsy as the muffins continued to disappear, and the customers near the front were pushing forward, determined to be served before the muffins ran out. It didn't matter that Fili was a café whiz, there was going to be a riot as the muffins dwindled rapidly. Kili debated on whether he should restrict each student to one muffin, or just keep it at first come first serve.

"That's unfair!"

"One each!"

"I'll take five, please."

"HEY!"

"I demand a muffin!"

Voices were raised as the crowd turned *hangry and Kili envisioned a stampede as his fellow students rioted and stole their muffins, trampled him and Fili to death and were late for class. Mother would not be pleased. He stepped forward, hands raised, trying to stave off a fistfight between the overbearing Lit major and the tiny Smith who was wielding a hammer with practised ease as they argued over who had reached the stall first.

"Hold on, please. Please. There is no need to panic, there are plenty…"

No one paid him the slightest attention and the small Smith was joined by several friends, all dwarves by their dress and the Lit Major, an elf naturally, had also garnered some support. Kili stammered, "Just wait a second, we can surely…"

As a surge of irate students pushed from the rear of the crowd, a chorus of shouts and cries drowned out anything else Kili said and Fili paused in his furour of café pouring to stare in horror at the imminent violence.

"I was here first, the berry one is mine!"

"No way short-stuff. I was here first!"

A booming voice split the air a cry of, "Make way! Make way there. Baked goods coming through! Make way!"

Never before had a walking stick wielding hobbit seemed so heroic and brave as Bilbo shoved his way through the crowd, poking the odd slow moving student, while Hamfast trundled behind him, a wagon load of muffins in his wake. Hamfast boomed again, "Clear the way you clodsfeet, Baggins Baked Goods coming through!"

That seemed to be the right turn of phrase as abruptly the crowd parted and Bilbo had a clear path to the beleaguered dwarves. His smile was broad as he said, "Lads. Under siege I see."

Fili beamed while Kili felt close to tears. "Mister Baggins!" they both cried and the crowd settled into an expectant murmur, their eyes fixed on the arriving trays of muffins. Bilbo winked at the dwarves before rounding on the collective students. He drew himself up to his not very considerable height and stuck his hands into his waistcoat.

"Young people, I am appalled. Is this how Rivendell U students behave?" Bilbo's voice was not loud or raised, and yet the crowd collectively shrank back, a uniformly sheepish expression on their faces.

"Why I remember well how utterly polite and full of decorum the '29 Protest Against Orc Exclusion was. We filled this courtyard with an immovable force of quiet, polite protest and the Governing Body capitulated after only seven days of protest."

A daring, unseen student called out, "I bet you had decent food though, Mister Baggins."

Bilbo nodded. "Indeed we did. Mistress Cerel and her squad of Patisserie Students supplied us with heavenly bread, rolls and pies. My love of a pulled pork cold pie was born that week and that is all the more reason for you to feel ashamed of your behaviour right now!"

His glare was fierce but kindly. Gesturing at the dwarves behind him, he said, "How do you expect the good Masters Kili and Fili to brave supplying food to you again if you trample them on day one?"

Murmurs and mumbled apologies rose from the crowd and Bilbo clapped his hands, "Now form up in an orderly line, there are enough muffins for everyone to receive one. If you are determined to have two, stick around until after the first bell."

Quite a few people checked wrist timepieces in dismay but everyone formed a line, and patiently waited their turn. Fili returned to his flurry of café making, while Hamfast assisted, and Bilbo and Kili ensured everyone received **one** muffin and paid for their purchase. Fortunately, the line moved swiftly now and all potential customers received a muffin by the time the first bell struck. As the heavy tolls of the large bell rang across the yard, the majority of their crowd had departed while a mere dozen lingered on for a second muffin. Fili turned café duty over to Kili and dashed off to his lecture and once the muffins were finished Bilbo and Hamfast departed with their wheelbarrow.

Kili managed a hearty thank you while hurriedly working nobs and nozzles. Bilbo bowed a little, while Hamfast grinned, and the hobbits left. Oddly, even though the muffins were clearly finished, students still lined up for café and Kili worked well into first lecture filling cups and raking in silver. Only once he was tapped dry did the final stragglers disperse, some directing longing looks towards Hobbiton, perhaps hoping for a reappearance of Bilbo Baggins with more muffins.

Exhausted, Kili sat on the smooth, cold stone edge of the fountain and groaned. When he peeked inside their money box, however, he couldn't help but smile.

*For the uninitiated, hangry is when you are so hungry you become irritable, angry and murderous. A condition which often occurs on Sundays when the oven wasn't turned on and the roast lamb didn't cook and it's now three pm and your nephew who is imitating a minion is about to be murdered by his siblings.  
Hangry is not to be confused with ordinary anger induced by someone stealing your last chocolate. The state of 'hanger' necessitates a pre-existing condition relating to hunger i.e. diet, fast, skipped elevenses, breakfast being too long ago, and/or work/church fatigue combined with a delay in a forthcoming meal. Fortunately, hanger can be remedied most swiftly no matter how much the chef aka mom bemoans that toasted PBJ sandwiches will ruin your lunch.

TBC – posted in a couple of days


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Fili practically dragged his brother out of bed the next morning. Kili had been up late working on a paper on the seven methods of fletching arrows and the cost and benefit of each method. Both brothers had lectures today, but fortunately only at second bell. They arrived at Bag End two hours earlier than the day before and Fili set his bleary-eyed brother to make the muffin batter.

"You remember how to, right?"

Kili's slow yawn of a reply did not leave Fili feeling overly confident, but he dashed off to the dawn market. His plan was clear and Fili was certain today would go even better than yesterday.

They would make four types of muffins today – not a dozen different ones. Blueberry, Chocolate Chip, Cheese and Cinnamon Nut. Thirty-two dozen, four trays per oven, 30 minutes to bake and cool, and they should manage to bake 384 muffins in 2 hours. They would have a full hour to de-tin, cool, stack and pack.

He'd taken one look at their earnings yesterday and even factoring the unexpected cost of the cups, café machine, café and extra milk, they had made a killing. If they pushed hard, they could make enough money cover their rent, expenses and food next semester within a month. Fili smiled at Mrs Bracegirdle and braced himself for a hard haggle for some good cheddar.

Ingredients secured and delivery at Bag End arranged, he hurried to the Clan's workshop and paid Bofur the rental for the café machine and an additional machine. The extra machine made tea, both white and black. "Mind that secondary spout, lad. It gets mighty hot. Ori nearly lost a finger yesterday," Bofur remarked, sounding both amused and concerned.

Fili nodded as he ran, barely noticing the weight of the machine. Next, he swung by Bolger's for more cups and a supply of paper bags. Mister Bolger gave him a funny look when he asked for twice as many cups as the previous day. "Did you feed an entire army yesterday?"

"Felt like it," Fili grinned and staggered away. The cups and bags weren't heavy, but the boxes and the tea machine were awkward for one person to carry. "I should have borrowed the wagon," he muttered as he struggled under the load.

When he staggered into the kitchen, it was in a sorry state. Kili had managed to spill flour all over the floor, and the wall near the automatic mixer was sprayed with batter. Kili was asleep, his face pressed flat on the cold marble of the pastry slab, but fortunately for him, the batter was made and twelve mixing bowls were ready for their specific ingredients. The rest of the batter was in an enormous pot but it looked lumpy and an odd colour.

"Kili!"

Startled, his brother sat up and nearly fell off his stool. "Wha, what?"

"Help me here!" Kili scrambled to relieve his brother of the boxes and Fili straightened with relief when he put the tea machine down.

Together they assembled and loaded both machines with café and tea respectively. Fili had nominated himself to be on beverage duty again, so he tested out the tea machine, and made them both a strong cup of Brandywine Tea.

"Where are the ingredients?" Kili scowled as he sipped his tea and shook his hand when the secondary spout burnt him.

Fili smirked, "On their way. A better question is, what in Durin's name happened to the batter?" He gestured at the walls, counter and unusual colouration of the batter in the pot.

"What?" Kili exclaimed, "Have you tried mixing batter in a pot that size? It's flipping hard! Bilbo doesn't have a mixer part big enough to do it." He coloured a little as he spoke, but did not appear remorseful in any way.

"Why did you even use such a big pot?"

"I thought it'd save time!" Kili clutched his cup of tea defensively.

"Well, it hasn't, has it?"

"You don't know that! Maybe people like lumps of flour in their muffins!"

"I'll give you some lumps and let's see how you like them!"

Fili nearly reached out to throttle his brother, who glowered back at him defiantly, ready for a fight.

"Ahem," a quiet voice said and both dwarves whirled around.

Bilbo stood in the doorway to the kitchen, three delivery hobbits behind him, each peering at them with fascination. "You ordered a dawn delivery?"

Fili broke away, resisting the urge to pummel his brother into the marble and sighed, "Yes, sorry Mister Baggins. I hope it didn't disturb you." Bilbo waved the delivery hobbits into the kitchen and yawned a smile. "Indeed not, Master Fili. I was up already and contemplating breakfast."

The three hobbits placed the large amount of blueberries, chocolate chips, nuts and cheese on the central counters. One of them peered at the mixing bowls and asked quietly, "Muffins?" Kili nodded, very deliberately not looking in the direction of the large pot. The pot was big enough for him to stand in and it'd come to his chest. It had been a good idea – at the time.

Bilbo was eyeing the mixture in the pot with some interest and amusement. The delivery hobbits exited slowly, and one of them quipped, "Any chance of a tip in the form of baked goods? Don't have to be fresh, or nothing."

Fili suddenly inspired cried, "If you bring the exact same order tomorrow morning, I'll give you the funds for the ingredients and a sample of our goods as a tip." All three beamed and nodded in excitement. "Sure enough, guv. So nothing available now? We could wait."

Bilbo laughed, "Back to the market, young sirs. Thank you."

As they finally left, Fili returned his glare to his idiot brother, who was wearing the expression he normally reserved for their mother, one of hopeful penitence. Before Fili could say anything, Kili interjected, "Perhaps now that Mister Baggins is here, he can help me fix the batter…"

"So there is something wrong with it! Kili, we can't keep prevailing on Mister Baggin's kindness. This is supposed to be our project…"

"I don't mind." Bilbo looked surprised at himself but nonetheless picked up an apron. "I seem to recall an expansion set for the mixer somewhere."

"Really?" Kili beamed, excited at the prospect of fixing his error and playing with the intricate mixer again. "Come on, lad," Bilbo laughed and together they headed towards the cupboard across the room. Fili scowled, but noting the time, hurried to at least get the first eight trays ready.

Oddly enough, by the time all bar the last load of muffins were ready, Hamfast Gamgee popped by for a visit and a cup of tea. He willing lent a hand in extracting muffins from pans and stacking the delicious fare into trays. Naturally, for his trouble, he helped Kili demolish the sub-standard muffins, which looked too flat or squashed to sell. Bilbo had indeed rescued the batter and while Fili and Kili had muscled through multiple batches of muffins, he had set about making croissants on the other side of the kitchen.

As the kitchen drew warm, Bilbo threw open the windows which looked out into the garden, which was already full of warm sunlight, colouring the trees and bushes in shades of gold-tinged green, rich and beautiful. While Fili and Kili badgered each other over the ideal ratio of cinnamon to nut, and the croissants proved in their familiar crescent shapes. Luckily for Kili and Hamfast, the batter disaster had meant that there was left over dough and the brothers were making extra muffins.

Mindful of the time, Fili brought in Bilbo's garden wagon and began stacking their trays very carefully. "But the other muffins aren't done?" Kili wailed.

"If Mr Baggins…" Fili trailed off, a hopeful look on his face and Bilbo nodded.

"Certainly, Master Dwarf. Hamfast and I will see to them and the croissants. Have no fear of that."

Kili's face fell even further, "Croissants, brother! Croissants!"

"I'll save you one or two, Master Kili."

Sighing a little, Kili none the less thanked Bilbo and reluctantly picked up a hot tea machine and the pre-packaged muffin bags they had stocked, while Fili shouldered the café machine and the pushed the wagon full of muffins out the door.

"Good luck!" Hamfast called as he sat happily at the centre counter, a pile of discarded but delicious muffins in front of him, accompanied by sweet tea.

A not insubstantial crowd waited for them at the fountain. Kili recognised a few faces from the day before, including the tall dark-haired elf. She had a friend with her, equally tall and willowy, with lovely red hair. Kili shot them both a grin, but only their repeat customer smiled back.

"I'm glad you're back this morning. Those muffins yesterday were so good," the dark-haired elf smiled and there was a chorus of agreement from the gathered students behind her. Without any prompting, the group lined up in an orderly fashion as Fili and Kili set up their table and baked wares. A helpful dwarf they both recognised as a distant cousin assisted them and promptly service commenced.

As Fili had expected, planned for and feared, most if not all of their customers requested more than one muffin. The Elvar and Dwarf students predominantly asked for café, while the Hobbits and Gondorians asked for tea, with the odd variation here and there. Kili served the dark-haired elf and her friend with flair, unashamedly proud of his muffins. The red-haired elf was cautious and sceptical and did not taste her muffin instantly, unlike her friend who particularly scoffed her first one while waiting for Fili and her café.

"Are you going to be here tomorrow?" she asked, a smattering of crumbs on her face.

Kili nodded, "Sure enough. For a couple days at least. Probably next week as well." This news generated a happy murmur from the crowd. The Elvar ladies departed together, their heads bent in close conversation. The red-haired elf shot Kili a look, which he did not notice, but Fili did, with a scowl.

"Can we place orders now?" A voice called over the crowd.

Kili didn't see which one of their eager customers spoke but he replied instantly, "Sure. Uhm, Manx, could you take orders at the end. I think we have paper…"

As he turned to search for paper, he noted Fili's horrified expression but undeterred Kili continued. "We can't take specific muffin orders, just a general order such as 2 muffins and a café. We need your name and hall. Uhm, also if you don't arrive by the first bell, your order gets sold to someone else. Alright?" He shot Manx a look as if to say, make sure they understand that. Manx nodded, and hissed under his breath, "You can pay me in muffins."

His brother did not look pleased at all, but Kili just smiled and continued to serve their long, long line of customers. More students arrived and the hubbub of noise increased. The brothers fell into a steady rhythm of handing muffins and cups of hot beverages to happy students while Manx collected orders and money. About halfway through their service, Gandalf strode past and picked up his pack of muffins, overpaid and left. He was on time for his lecture on " _The properties of black powder applied to entertainment, pathfinding and misdirection"_ today.

Bilbo did not need to rescue them today with a timely arrive of fresh baked good but Hamfast delivered the last muffins in good time. He left with a cup of tea and a few muffins of his own, empty wagon trundling along. By the time first bell rang, they were reaching the end of their wares and the students who lingered past first bell had the privilege of ordering as many muffins as they liked. Manx tossed Fili the long list of orders and ran off for his first lecture and abruptly alone with empty trays and nearly finished café and tea carafes, the brothers stared at each other for a good long moment. "Well that went better than expected," Fili murmured, glancing at the list. He winced at the sheer volume of pre-orders they would have to make. Kili nodded, feeling very tired after two early morning starts and hours of hard work behind and ahead of them. "At least there was no riot today."

Fili mused into his moustache, not paying his brother much mind, trying to figure out how much time they would need to add to the already busy morning to pre-pack orders and label the bags. Maybe if they baked the night before, or at least started the process? Kili opened their money box and grinned widely at the collection of silvers and golds. Behind them the fountain spray coloured the blue and grey stone with droplets of rainbow and silver, catching the early morning light. Overhead, the sky was pale blue and clear, heralding a lovely warm day. A cool breeze stirred the already turbulent waters and Kili glanced up as the wind brought a familiar and unwelcome scent.

He stiffened instinctively and reached for the dagger he knew was beside his bed and not on his belt. Campus was a weapon-free area. Fili, busy with dismantling the heating coils for the tea machine noted Kili's abortive motion and looked around. Kili didn't need to see his expression to know when he picked up the Orcs. Fili's right hand clenched into a fist as he no doubt wished he had an axe or sword nearby. Kili flicked his brother a silent 'how many' in _iglishmêk_ and Fili replied _'five'._ With a studied casualness that only came from years of training and extensive experience, they turned as one, stances braced for attack, poised to defend themselves if needed. Out of sight, Kili held the cash box to prevent its theft and to use it as a weapon. Its weight was significant and would cause serious damage. Fili grasped a long pipe from the café machine which did not look terribly strong and he made no effort to hide his makeshift weapon.

Several feet away, the Orcs stood together in a loose pack, the easy nonchalance of their bearing belied by the tension in the air, and their expressions. The Orc in the middle of the group was clearly the leader, his height and girth considerable. His gaze was the hardest and most hostile, as if he longed to launch an attack immediately. The courtyard however was still busy and crowded as students hurried to lectures, study sessions or tutor assignments. Several Elvar professors walked to the north of them, and a group of hobbits had started a mashi golf game on the lawn to the south. None of the U of Rivendell students or professors seemed aware of the tense moment at the fountain. Kili and Fili stared down the Orcs fearlessly, perfectly willing to take them on if needed, but they would not be the first to attack.

One of the smaller Orcs nudged the leader and muttered something in their native tongue. The large Orc snarled briefly and shot the brothers a contemptuous look before breaking the moment and striding away. His cohorts followed him, a couple glaring at the dwarves as they departed, their expressions unreadable bar for the outright hostility and aggression. Neither dwarf relaxed until the group had entered the library, and only then did Kili put the money box down, his fingers white from the pressure he had exerted. "I wish they were still banned from Erigon. Curse the Elvar for their soft-hearted idiocy," he hissed.

Fili did not release his pipe and his voice was rough with anger, "That was Bolg."

"What?" Kili whirled, his heart hammering and he stared at the library doors. Surely not. There was no way Azog had…

"We need to tell Uncle."

"Are you sure, Fili?"

His brother nodded, short and sharp. "Yes. I'd recognise that face a mile away. The others are not from the North. I'd say they are Southern Orcs."

Kili stared at the library, his heart still hammering in his chest. "Damn."


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

The sun was barely peeking over the horizon when Bilbo awoke and peered from beneath his blankets out of the window across the window. The room was filled with pre-dawn chill, a lingering touch of winter in the air, the promise of spring in the pink blossoms in the creeper around his window. A few years ago, Bilbo might have leapt from his bed with a yearning wish to see the Treeline at sunrise, night-dark trees slowly transformed into mighty green giants filling the lonely ruins of a forgotten age. Several weeks ago, Bilbo would have turned over and snuggled back into the covers for another hour or so of restful sleep, before answering his stomach's call for food. The pinking morning sky now pricked and prodded his brain and Bilbo smiled to himself as his brain filled with all manner of ideas for morning pastries.

Dense golden scones topped with meadow cream and fresh strawberry preserve.

Dark, nutty café cake with almonds, walnuts and pecans.

Blushing pink brioche style muffins filled to bursting with raspberries, cranberries and melted chocolate.

Juicy, sticky apple turnovers, crisp and flaky, straight from the oven.

Filled with visions of pastry, proved dough and delectable ingredients, Bilbo hopped out of bed with a smile and a song under his breath. He sang as he dressed, performed his ablutions, and ambled down to the cool kitchen on the ground floor. He did so absently, without real thought or intent, caught up in dreams of ingredients, processes and ideas. The young dwarves had not arrived as yet, and Bilbo did not expect them for a good hour and a bit. Unaccountably, Bilbo had visited the evening market last night when the caravan from Ered Luin arrived with fresh produce. He'd purchased some wonderful smelling café beans, dark chocolate and strawberries as big as his fist.

Lost in song and thought, Bilbo chopped strawberries to make jam, turning on the long stove to melt sugar. Some people preferred to cook the fruit with the sugar, but Bilbo liked to add vanilla to his jam. If wasn't proper jam, as he was not adding pectin to truly thicken it and keep it. Rather he wanted something sticky and sweet that could simmer for a tad and then cool to a thickness just right for scones to be eaten hot and fresh. With the berries cooking, he rubbed butter into flour in preparation for his scone dough. A blissful contentment filled his heart as he worked and watched the sun turn the sky pink, then yellow, then orange, chasing the blue into purples and reds. Bird song joined his own, larks, robins and blackbirds filling the trees with the happy sound of spring and life. The large chestnut tree in the lot filtered and broke new sunbeams into shards of light and gold, and Bilbo thought about a caramel sauce to go with the muffins rather than chocolate. He'd save the chocolate for the café cake. Under his deft fingers dough was mixed, pastry rolled out, nuts were chopped and apples sliced.

Setting the fine mechanical artificer's timer his mother had purchased years ago, Bilbo set reminders for several processes; his scones now in the oven, the pastry for the turnovers and the proving brioche dough. Cup of tea in hand, Bilbo pulled the jam off the stove, and set it aside. He opened the top half of the back door and let in the fresh, crisp morning air and sipped his tea, listening to the voices of farm hands heading off to work, factory workers bidding families farewell and early shoppers heading towards the market. Hobbiton was a pleasant neighbourhood every day and early mornings were especially perfect, as the promise of a new day was seen in folk's smiles and greetings. Bilbo nodded to a handful of hobbits using his lot as a shortcut, each tipping their hat to him.

Fili and Kili arrived earlier than expected, bursting into the kitchen with the usual noise and boisterousness. There was something subdued in their smiles, however, a troubled air about their conversation. Kili wasted no time in regaling him with their success yesterday, and his brilliant idea about taking orders and pre-packaged muffin bags. Fili was less enamoured with the idea, his smile flatter, sadder but he did not deflate any of Kili's enthusiasm. The storeroom was still full of their flour, eggs and staple ingredients for the muffins. Bilbo had left them ample space to bake in his enormous kitchen, but Fili had to drag his brother away from the jam and scones as Bilbo removed them from the oven. Listening to the brothers snipe at each other, Bilbo smiled to himself as he carefully removed tray after tray of scones. As he placed the fourth try on the cooling rake, he frowned momentarily. Why had he made so many scones? There were far too many for even his considerable appetite and the brothers'. Even if Hamfast popped by again there would be too many scones, and his muffins, café cake and turnovers would be…

The arrival of the delivery hobbits with the Durin brothers' fresh ingredients order side-tracked his confusion. Four smiling burly hobbits hauled in crates of nuts, cheese, blueberries and chocolate. As promised, Fili tipped them with day old left over muffins. Bilbo however truly made their morning. The kettle was hot, the tea already steeped so he poured them each a cup and handed them each two scones topped with fresh cream and runny jam. "Thank ye kindly, Mr Baggins. These be the best scones I've ever had and my Nan will box my ears for saying so," young Tolman Grubb grinned around crumbs and cream. They left reluctantly, longing looks directed at Bilbo as he pulled out his brioche dough.

Fili had to pull his brother away from his own cup of tea and fifth scone to make more batter. The brothers were focusing on four types of muffins again, their success of yesterday a proven recipe for happy students and maximised profits. Bilbo was not surprised when Hamfast appeared as if on schedule, his cheery, "Morning master Dwarves, Mister Baggins. Smelling a treat in here," bringing smiles to all faces. He happily assisted Fili and Kili both in chopping ingredients and measuring out muffins for the trays. He found time to scoff down three scones in between deftly mixing cinnamon and chopped nuts, grating cheese and crushing chocolate. Kili was covered in flour again as he struggled with the mixer and the large pot. Fili was humming along with Bilbo as they both prepared their own variety of muffins, and Bilbo crushed pre-cooked raspberries into a mix of dried cranberries and liberal sugar and spices.

Contented busy-ness filled the kitchen as the four bakers mixed, poured and shoved trays into waiting ovens. Kili was once again distracted as Bilbo rolled out the pastry for the turnovers and Fili had to physically remove him from Bilbo's side of the kitchen to help pack pre-orders. "This was your bright idea!"

"I just to see how Mister Baggins folds them."

"Fifty orders, Kili! Fifty!"

"Apple turnovers, brother. We may want to make them ourselves."

"We are struggling to prepare enough muffins, Kili!"

"Apple turnovers…."

Bilbo felt a stab of guilt as he watched the dejected Kili shot looks in his direction, but then the timer dinged for his first batch of muffins. Again Bilbo found himself pulling out tray after tray of muffins. Concerned, he wondered if he was caught up the fuss and fervor of feeding hundreds and had mistakenly made too many. He hated waste… maybe he could send some with the brothers. Hamfast devoured two muffins while they were too hot, his expression wondrous and pained. The mix for the café cake was coming to together, filling the kitchen with the heady aroma of café, cinnamon and chocolate, and the apple turnovers were baking in the smaller oven when the second Dwarf invasion occurred.

Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Balin, Oin, Gloin and Ori opened the service door hesitantly, spotted their kin and filled with kitchen with loud voices of exclamations and salutations. Neither Fili or Kili seemed surprised to see them, but they were not pleased. Fili's frown was lost in his mustache, but Kili's expression was open for all to see. Bofur clapped the young dwarf on the back, "Your uncle said you needed help getting your wares to campus and here we are, lad."

"We're also here to provide a quality check," Ori laughed, reaching for a muffin. Fili slapped his hand away, grumbling, "We'll lose half our profits that way." Turning to Balin, Fili grimaced, "Balin, I know Uncle means well, but we don't need … it'll cause more of a stir if six… we can manage on our own."

Balin shook his head, long white beard waggling as he did so. "Not so, Master Fili. It's our duty to help out family and you two are representing the Durins. We are here to help and help we shall." His attention though was divided and his gaze kept darting towards the still rather massive mound of scones near Bilbo. "Are those fresh scones?" Balin asked and then quickly bowed, "Apologies, Mister Baggins. Good morning to you."

Bilbo, hiding a smile, bowed in reply. "They are indeed fresh, Master Balin. Please, have a few. There is cream in the jug and strawberry jam in the pot." Balin needed no second invitation. Bilbo poured him a cup of tea, while he, Oin and Gloin sampled the scones. Bifur and Bofur descended on Bilbo's muffins, their faces pictures of glee, while Bombur split his attention between the culinary efforts of the brothers and picking at Bilbo's. Each of the dwarves bowed deeply to Bilbo and thanked him profusely for the baked goods, the use of his kitchen and assistance to Fili and Kili. A ding of the timer derailed most conversation as Bilbo hauled out trays and trays of apple turnovers. Fili lost Kili again, and the dwarves burnt their fingers and tongues on the hot pastries. Even Hamfast deserted poor Fili for a taste. Fili stubbornly remained at his station, resolutely pulling out muffins and replacing more trays in the oven. Surrounded by dwarves in digestive ecstasy, Bilbo laughed at their praise and groans of enjoyment.

"Exquisite."

"So, so good."

"Hmmm,mmm,mmm."

"Pass the cream, please."

"Another cuppa, Gloin?"

Bilbo caught Kili's eye as the young dwarf bit into his fourth turnover and nodded towards his grumpy brother. Kili looked up, sighed but nodded. Snagging a fifth turnover, he hurried over and picked up a tray to decant, popping the muffins out deftly. Without much prodding, Bifur, Bofur and Bombur returned to assist as well, and Hamfast took Oin and Gloin with him to pack the pre-orders. Only Balin remained, seated on one of the few stools in the kitchen, a half-drunk cup of tea next to him, a smile of contentment on his face. "I must say, I was skeptical of their plan to sell baked goods, Mister Baggins. However, your guidance has been most appreciated, my good hobbit."

Bilbo shrugged deprecatingly, returning to his café cake. "I merely pointed them in the right direction. Their idea to include café and tea was inspired, I think." Balin nodded, sipping his own tea. "Agreed."

All too soon, the young dwarves were running late as many hands did not make light work as they fought to keep their wares out of hungry helpers. Despairing, Fili tried several times to force a deadline to leave for campus, but the packing of the orders was taking longer than expected. His cake in the oven, Bilbo stepped in to help, and somehow his presence settled the exuberant assistants and with a lot of laughter, aborted attempted to steal muffins and crumb covered beards, the passel of dwarves departed with their precious cargo of muffins, paper bags, café and tea machine. Balin followed in their wake, clearly acting in a supervisory role, and the group bid Bilbo farewell in a rousing chorus.

"Thank you, Mister Baggins."

"Best muffins in the world!"

"Save me a turnover, please!"

"Thanks for the tea."

"See you tomorrow!"

Hamfast stayed to clean up the trays and bowls, a generous wage of silvers and a gold in his pocket for his offer. Bilbo figured the young hobbit would have helped for payment in muffins alone, so it was good of Fili to offer actual payment. The quiet of kitchen as they left was a relief but oddly disappointing.

"Odd blokes those dwarves, Mister Bilbo. Friendly and cheerful to be sure. But odd." Hamfast said. He was running water in the sink, which was large enough to accommodate three times the amount of dishes. Bilbo nodded. The dwarves were indeed strange at times, but there was a steady, constant thread to their souls, a bond of family, kin and loyalty. He wondered though at the appearance of the adult dwarves and why Fili and Kili had been annoyed. Hopefully, he'd be able to find out the details tomorrow.

Hamfast was halfway done with the dishes when Bilbo removed the café cake from the oven. Its rich aroma was heavenly, and his smile was broad as he left the tins to cool. His sense of sheer contentment and peace was deep and Bilbo sighed happily. Oh, how he loved to bake.

Glancing around the kitchen, his sense of happiness faltered. There was still so much food. Even after half a dozen unexpected dwarves had descended on him, there were still scones, muffins and turnovers aplenty. Even if he and Hamfast ate their fill, there'd be so much leftover. He'd forgotten in the rush of the dwarves departure to ask the lads to take the extra goods with them. Frowning in earnest, Bilbo wondered if there was time to load up his barrow and take it all to the University. Wiping his brow, Bilbo sighed. What had he been thinking?

A knock on his open back door broke his self-beration, and Bilbo looked up. Roper Gamgee, Hamfast's Gaffer stood at the door, his hat in his hands. "Beggin your pardon, Mister Bilbo. Good Morning to you."

"Morning Master Gamgee," Bilbo nodded, pleased to see his old friend. Roper had tended the Baggins garden and lot for his parents and he had fond memories of listening to Roper explain how earthworms turned the soil and were a gardener's best friend. Roper had had a knack to whistle robins and many a robin had sat on his spade, whistling back at him. As a young hobbit, Bilbo had been both in awe of the gardener and delighted with his knowledge. Roper peered into the kitchen, his expression hopeful. "I've been seeing all manner of hungry dwarves leaving your fine kitchen smiling and full of scones, Mister Bilbo. Our Hamfast has been filling our ears with stories of muffins fit for an Elvar Lord. Mighten an Old Gaffer purchase a spare scone or four?"

Bilbo laughed, and strode over to the scones briskly, "No need to spend your silver, Master Gamgee. I have made too many. Cream and jam?"

Gaffer Roper left with four scones, two muffins, a turnover and thick slice of cake. He insisted on paying Bilbo, who eventually let him hand over a few silvers. It was easier than making a fuss about it. Pleased some of the excesses had gone, Bilbo turned to begin packing trays, determined to get to the lads before the first bell. As he did so though, there was another knock on the door. Startled, he turned to see who it was.

The four young delivery hobbits were grinning sheepishly at him, clustered around the open door like children gathered for mid-winter celebrations. They were not alone. Nearly a dozen hobbits waited behind them, many standing on tippy toes, trying to see into the kitchen, their faces bright and keen. "Beggin your pardon, Mister Baggins," Tolman Grubb began, his face still covered with crumbs from earlier. "We told several of our mates about your scones and muffins… Mighten we, I mean, please… are those scones for sale?"

"We saw Gaffer leave with muffins!" a deep voice cried, and Bilbo recognised the young hobbit as a Greybarrow. A decidedly not young voice, old Fred Bolger joined in, "I'll take a dozen turnovers, Mister Baggins."

Before the mass of hobbits could devolve into chaos and demands, Bilbo held up his hands and smiled as he said firmly, "Good hobbits. I'm happy to sell whatever remains, but only in an orderly, hobbitsh fashion. There is enough for all to have something, let's not be too greedy."

"Can I have a cup of tea too, guv?" a distant voice called.

Hamfast joined him at the door and the pair patiently served each and every waiting hobbit. Despite his request, most of the hobbits ordered more than one of everyone, but by some miracle, they had enough. Bilbo handed over muffins, sticky turnovers, generous scones and rich cake to young and old hobbits whose eyes universally light up as they took eager bites. The allotment was dotted with benches and chairs and all too soon, each seat was filled with a hobbit, munching away, sipping tea. Luckily, the dwarves at left some of the Bolger paper cups, and even with a small delay to make more tea, it didn't take too long to serve everyone.

Bilbo smiled so much that his face was fairly aching by the time the last hobbit walked away with the last muffin and scone. It was full morning, the sun was up, beaming down in concert with the bright, happy feeling in his heart. Full to the brim with the thanks and praise of happy customers, Bilbo leant against the bottom half of his kitchen door and sighed. He'd loved writing and travelling and visiting far away places. The enjoyment of talking to new people, discovering out of the way treasures, green fields dotted with yellow and blue flowers, peaceful avenues in the Treeline, dusty books in second-hand stores and the rock of a train as it traveled along the coast underscored the pleasures of his soul. This feeling, however, the sense of accomplishment and delight of baking and sharing his skill with grateful neighbours was something new and most unexpected.

Sighing in contentment, Bilbo wondered what he'd bake tomorrow.

Fin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: And part two is complete. I trust that you enjoyed this second foray into the world of bakery, hobbits and dwarves as much as I did. I love researching this AU, both by looking at recipes and thinking about the baked goods.


End file.
